Road Warrior:
So, you hate getting a traffic ticket, huh? Well, you ain't toppin' the ticket this Pennsylvania trucker got. Police issued a ticket for $37,555.54 to the driver and his company after he was citing driving an overweight truck without the proper "super load" permit. A police captain told the Lehigh Valley Express-Times it's the highest fine he's ever seen on a traffic ticket. The truck was a steel cylinder that weight 213-thousand pounds. Or, about the size of ROSIE O'DONNELL
Fast Food:
McDonald's wants a Swedish strip club to remove their sign for "McDragan's Drive In" strip tease bar because it's far too similar to its own logo, and looks like the Golden Arches with nipples. For their part, McDragan says those giant, arch-like boobs are not at all similar.
"Now every time I pass McDonalds, I'll think, 'You deserve two breasts today'
Time for a spanking. Of the parents
Today's nomination for Self-Centered, Entitlement-Minded Person of the Week goes to the parents in Milwaukee suing their child's middle school claiming they falsely imprisoned her when they put her in a time-out room. According to the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel, the parents say the experience caused their daughter to hyperventilate and feel nauseous. The school isn't talking, they say, in order to protect the privacy of the student. The parents are demanding $50-thousand in compensation. If the claim isn't settled or rejected within 120 days, a lawsuit could be filed.--Man, if you knew you'd get $50 grand every time you hyperventilated and felt nauseous, I'll bet you'd probably listen to my show more often.
You might be a redneck if...
A guy in Newark, OH, has been charged with drunk driving after crashing his motorized bar stool. The stool was powered by a deconstructed lawnmower and it could get up to 38 mph. The guy riding it told police he had consumed 15 beers before turning it on. He was also charged with driving with a suspended license. --This is a blatant case of police profiling!
Looking for Love in all the Wrong Places:
A woman in Belgrade, Serbia, is recovering after undergoing a painful two-hour operation to remove a giant pine cone. Where from? According to the London Sun, the woman got "steamy with the seedy item" Surgeons reportedly said the woman was a lonely spinster.
--This woman really needs a computer. And Serbia probably needs the internet.