Problem Solved: Museums vs. Protestors Gluing Themselves to Things
Protesting is a right of all Americans, and it is a great right that we have. Sometimes people go too far with their protesting, and we’ve recently seen videos all over the world of protestors throwing paint/ink on priceless works of art. They then glue their hands to the walls around the painting or the glass that is protecting the art. The gluing yourself to something seems a bit much, but that’s the world we live in. I believe I have come up with a plan that museums everywhere can implement to solve and most likely end these types of protests.
Each museum should have a rapid response team of skilled carpenters in house ready to react when these protestors glue themselves to things. Kind of like how the Oompa Loompas had a rapid response team when one of the little brats broke the rules at Wonka’s Chocolate Factory. If these carpenters want to sing a song too, even better. The museums rapid response team comes out, removes the painting and begins building a brand new wall directly around the glued protestors. I envision it resembling a NASCAR pit crew.
Imagine you’re at a museum admiring a Van Dyke or Monet, then two people run up, toss some paint on it and glue themselves to the soon-to-be old wall. While they shout about a cause that is meaningful to them, this crew of skilled carpenters arrive on the scene with a pile of lumber, new drywall, spackle, paint, etc. They immediately begin building a brand new wall directly around the protestors. Once the spackle is dried and painted, and the screams of the protestors inside their new home have come to a halt the museum can hang the painting on the new wall for everyone to enjoy again.
Bingo, bango, problem solved!
*This was written using the tongue in cheek font, so don’t write us*
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