15 Stupid New Wedding Rules

Slate.com's staff has come up with a list of 26 new wedding rules and 23 of them are downright stupid. I don't know what these people over at Slate like to do on the weekends, but I'm pretty sure I want nothing to do with their plans. Lets run through some of the worst of the stupidity.

1. No more engagement parties. Engagement parties are fine, but they should be about celebrating and drinking. No gifting, etc. Who doesn't like another reason to have a drink with friends?

2. No outdoor summer weddings. Ok, this one I'm fairly in agreement with. Unless it's just where the bar is located with some seating for the lunatics who want to bake in their suits and dresses. My wife and I planned our wedding to be no where near summer because we didn't want to be sweating, even with our wedding being indoors.

3. Your closest friends, not you, should control the guest list. No. The wedding industry is a racket, everything is overly expensive because they know they have you over a barrel. If you are letting anyone dictate who the guests invited to YOUR wedding are you're an idiot. Your parents get a say in who of their friends they want there though (within reason).

4. It is entirely fine to deny anyone a plus-one for any reason. Absolutely. See the answer about about weddings being expensive. Unless they're in a committed relationship they don't get to bring a date.

5. Skip the bridal party. Nonsense! Your wedding. Do what you want.

6. If you have a bridal party, you pay for costs incurred. But skip the bridal party. Trash idea. Maybe you choose bridesmaid dresses or groomsman suits that aren't astronomically priced. Staying away from the major bridal shops will help.

7. Do not give wedding favors. Wrong. Give out something useful. Our wedding was the very end of November so we had navy blue Christmas balls with the Philly Love statue on them. People were buying their Christmas trees in 2 weeks so they had a new decoration to use. USEFUL! 

8. If you travel from out of town, you don’t need to get the couple a gift. This is correct for destination weddings. I'm not sure it works if you have to drive across the state or a few hours.

9. Actually, all gifts are banned. This Slate staff is extremely cheap.

10. It’s fine if someone else wears white. What kind of attention monster came up with this rule. You have all the colors in the world to wear besides white. Let the bride have her moment you animal!

11. No one has to walk you down the aisle. Sure, nobody HAS to walk you down the aisle, it's not a mandatory rule, but isn't that something dads dream about? It's a touching moment that everyone loves, except whoever wrote this rule. If the dad passed away, and their is a brother there, that's touching too. My uncle had passed so his only son (bearing the same name) walked my cousin down the aisle, and there wasn't a dry eye in attendance.

12. No more his-and-hers cocktails. Agreed. Does anyone, other than my wife's aunt, actually drink the his-and-her cocktails? Terry hasn't touched a cosmo since November 29, 2014 .

13. Just make your vegetarian option vegan. Piss off. Stop ruining everything.

14. Buffets are always better than plated dinners. WRONG!  There is no reason to have 100s of people walking across the room and or dance floor with plates of food. You can dance, drink, do whatever you want then sit down and eat the food that came right from the kitchen. Dessert buffet lines are fine.

15. There must be real food at the after-party. They finally got it 100% right. Yes. Real food. Even if your favor was food. If you have an after-party you MUST have real food for your guests. They just drank for 4-6 hours and now you're giving them more drinks. Need something in their stomachs.

Well Slate, you tried. Didn't do well, but you got a few hits.

Occasionally, we may forget something in the house, at an establishment, or maybe in your ride share. Uber released their seventh annual Uber Lost & Found Index. It shows which items riders leave behind the most often.

"As we head into another busy summer of travel, and hang on tight while Mercury makes its way back into Retrograde (which astrologists say influences forgetfulness), we're back with the seventh annual Uber Lost & Found Index," stated in a new release.

If you're the type to lose stuff, you might want to be extra careful on weekends. In the U.S., some of the most forgetful days of the week are Saturday and Sunday. Keep your guard up in April: April 5 and April 9 are the most forgetful days of the year. Coming in at third is New Year's Day. And the most common time of the day to report lost items is 11:00 p.m.

Certain lost items that peak on certain days. People are more likely to forget chargers on Mondays, passports on Saturdays, or  groceries on Sundays.

Uber highlighted the most forgotten items, the most unique lost items, and the most forgetful cities. Their data also provides a snapshot of which times of day and days of the week riders forgot items the most.

They explained that the most forgotten items include clothing, phones, backpacks, wallets, headphones, jewelry, keys, books, laptops, and watches.

When it comes to their most forgetful cities, Jacksonville, Florida is at the top of the list. Followed by San Antonio, Texas, and Palm Springs, California. Out of their top ten most forgetful cities, Florida is the only state with two cities listed which include Jacksonville (#1) and Miami (#6).

Those featured among the most unique things left in Ubers include a Danny DeVito Christmas ornament, a fog machine, an ankle monitor, small stone-carved whales, Britney Spears fantasy perfume, two fingernails, two pet turtles, a bidet, and others.

Take a look at the full 2023 Uber Lost & Found Index here.