How Certain Personality Types Butter Their Toast And What It Says About Each
Buttered toast. Quick and easy snack, breakfast side, for some it’s a whole breakfast. All 3 work as ways to describe buttered toast. End of article, right? Wrong. I’ve got 300+ words to write, and we’re going to get there together. How could this guy get 300+ words about toast? We can thank Darren Stanton, a psychologist from England, who found that certain personality types butter their toast differently. Darren broke the research down into nine different types of butter spreaders. Nine?! We’re going to go through a couple of the spread types here.
Starting with what I’d consider myself, they call it the glider. You glide the knife across to spread the butter evenly over the toast. Darren said these people are easygoing. Checks out. I might almost fall into the Total Coverage spreader, but that’s just because the glider doesn’t seem like enough butter. Now let’s take a look at some of the other more absurd categories of bread buttering. I say absurd because if you know anyone with a personality type that butters their toast this way you should re-evaluate the amount of time you spend with them.
Darren says: You think outside the box… and tend to be late.
Steve says: Are you kidding me? That’s how my 4 year old puts butter on his toast. This is the reason he doesn’t get to butter his toast anymore. How hungry are you that you can’t move the butter around a bit more? You could even let it melt for 30 more seconds and it would at least drip onto other spots so you’re not biting into a chunk of butter in 1 bite and no butter the next bite. Call this person less.
Darren says: You’re creative, live by your own rules, and don’t mind being the weird one.
Steve says: Everything in your kitchen has greasy fingerprints on it. How do I know? because I have children who can’t eat toast without getting butter on their hands. I’ll be walking past the steps and notice a streak on the wall from a small hand walking up or down the steps. Chances are your phone screen is glazed in butter grease.
The Curler (use a butter curler)
Darren says: You’re smug.
Steve says: I agree with Darren. Use a butter knife. You’re not better than us. Your butter is going to melt the same way ours is and we still have the $10 to waste on something worthwhile. Like a pasta cutter wheel!
For the full article and photos of the nine ways different personality types butter their toast go here: Butter that Bread!
FYI – 438 words.