No Thank You. DiGiorno Has Created A Thanksgiving Pizza
Oh no baby, what is you doin’?! DiGiorno, it’s “not delivery” people, has created an abomination for November. On the first day of the month, we’re all basking in the glory of chocolate and chewy sweets from last night. A day when dentists everywhere (I assume) laugh maniacally and pet their hairless cats like cavity-filling villains. DiGiorno has gone out of its way to create a pizza that nobody thought they ever would have to say no to. They’ve created a Thanksgiving pizza.
Thanksgiving is arguably the best holiday. There is no pressure to get gifts for people. You barely put up any decorations. You just show up to a house, bring a side or dessert, eat and drink. Simple. It really is the perfect holiday. What it doesn’t call for is pizza. Pizza is a wonderful creation on its own. What pizza doesn’t call for is Thanksgiving dinner. The folks at DiGiorno decided to toss the double bird in the air at both Thanksgiving and pizza by creating this Thanksgiving pizza. On this disaster is turkey, a creamy gravy, sweet potatoes, green beans, and cranberries. A mixture of Thanksgiving dinner staples. They also put a normal pizza topping with mozzarella cheese on it. It’s all topped with crispy onion straws. And if that’s not bad enough they’ve put it on Detroit-style crust.
This pizza will be available at grocery stores throughout November, while supplies last. I expect those supplies to last. Can we agree that pizza itself is a dinner? It doesn’t need a dinner on top of it. I know that they’re doing this as a marketing thing so that an idiot like me will talk about it. Either by word of mouth or 300-word written form it’s getting the DiGiorno name out on people’s minds, but come on. Just stick with the stuffed crust pepperoni pizzas you’re used to. Don’t go chasing turkey dinner pizzas.
5 Unique and Unusual Thanksgiving Traditions to Consider
Turkey Toss
Some people gather to challenge the limits of distance and altitude by launching frozen turkeys. In fact, a group of college students in Indiana took this to the next level in the early 2000s. They came up with the plan of dressing a frozen turkey in a onesie, securing it to a chain, saturating it with lighter fluid, igniting it, and then flinging it across a football field.
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Second Wind Walks
Thanksgiving feasts are often so filling that many families take a post-dinner stroll to make room for dessert. It’s like taking the “I work out so I can eat” mantra to a whole new level. Of course, packing up leftovers for later is an option. But the post-feast walk is a fun tradition for those who can’t resist the temptation of that pumpkin pie.
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Thanksgiving Roasting
A family drew inspiration from the typical Thanksgiving customs and introduced their own unique tradition. As an X user
I think a funny family Thanksgiving tradition was started by our 9 year old. He "roasted" every1 at the table. He figures we roast a turkey.
— JJRsvl (Abhorrent) LIBERTY (@jjrsvl) November 28, 2015" target="_blank" rel="noopener">shared, their kid initiated a comical Thanksgiving tradition by “roasting” everyone at the table. The idea was that since they roast a turkey, why not extend the roasting to the family members too. Seriously, what could possibly go wrong?
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