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The Matt Cord Show With Steve Vassalotti

The Matt Cord Show With Steve Vassalotti

The Matt Cord Show With Steve Vassalotti

Granny Smith Apples Suck

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Author Steve Vassalotti

In case you were unaware, Granny Smith Apples suck. These are the green apples, also called sour apples. Granny Smith obviously wouldn’t know a good-tasting apple if it fell out of a tree and hit her in the head.

In 1868 she discovered the green variety of apple by chance. A few stories each tell the tale slightly differently. She was testing crab apples for cooking and was dumping the cores in a spot where a new tree grew. Another sticks with the cooking part, but she was tossing the cores out of her window and a tree grew from the discarded core.

What neither story says is why, after trying one of the new apples, she didn’t cut the tree down and burn it for firewood. Ridding the world of these apples before they’re flavor was put into different candies, none of which are good. Green apple jolly rancher, crap. Green apple skittle, garbage (they brought back the original lime). Have you ever had the option of several flavors of candy and went for the green apple over something else? No! There is one candy that is a green apple that is great, Tootsie Caramel Apple Pops. They’re covered in caramel and they are delicious. That’s it, no others are anywhere close to being delicious.

There is an apple hierarchy. Tier 1: Pink Lady and Honeycrisp. Tier 2: everything else. Bottom Tier: Granny Smith. It’s like a lemon had sex with an apple and made something gross. If your best use as a fruit is to be cooked and sweetened to change how you taste, you misunderstood your assignment.

I’m sure Granny Smith was a super sweet lady back in the 1800s, but there is a reason Australia was a British penal colony. Everything there wants to and is supposed to kill you. Look at this list of animals that want to kill you. Turns out they make good wine in Australia because you better be pretty fudged up if you are going to die at the hands of one of these things.

Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Pennsylvania Has One of the Best Places for Apple Cider in America

Apple cider season is here. There’s just something special about having apple cider in the fall. You can have it any season, but it just tastes better in the fall. What’s more, if it’s chilly out, it’s extra delicious to have hot apple cider with a dash of cinnamon. Well, we’re lucky, because Pennsylvania has one of the best places for Apple Cider in America.

Before we get to today’s apple cider, let’s look at some of the interesting history of apple cider. According to Washington State University, the very “first recorded references to cider date back to Roman times,” and, “in 55 BCE Julius Caesar found the Celtic Britons fermenting cider from native crabapples. The people of northern Spain were making sidra before the birth of Christ.” That’s so wild to think about.

Moreover, according to SmithsonianMag.com, “Evidence of apple trees growing along the banks to the Nile River can be found dating back to about 1300 B.C., but there’s no evidence that ancient Egyptians ever used them for cider. However, considering how much the Egyptians enjoyed beer (and that they were one of the first cultures to brew it), they did have some notion of the joys of fermenting alcoholic beverages.”

In other words, apple cider dates back a long, long time. In fact, apples are as old as time, really. Remember the Biblical story where Eve at the apple? There you have it. Even though apples are very ancient, the way that we eat them today is not. There are so many different ways to enjoy apples and apple cider in the fall. With that in mind, let’s get into the best apple cider in the U.S. What’s your favorite spot to get local apple cider? Reach out to us on social media and give us your picks.

Pennsylvania Has One of the Best Places for Apple Cider in America

  • Franklin Cider Mill in Michigan

    If you haven’t tried the honey crisp apple cider at Franklin Cider Mill, then you haven’t experienced fall. This cider mill, located in Bloomfield Hills, is close to Detroit. It’s a super fun spot for fall activities.

    Home - Franklin Cider Mill

    The Franklin Cider Mill is a one-of-a-kind piece of history. We take pride in our family-friendly atmosphere and strive to provide exceptional service.

  • Apple Hill Orchard & Cider Mill in North Carolina

    You’ll find delicious, fresh cider at Apple Hill Orchard & Cider Mill in Morganton, North Carolina. They, of course, make their own cider by pressing their fresh apples and turning it into yummy cider. They even offer it hot or as a slushie.

    Apple Picking | Apple Hill Orchard & Cider Mill | United States

    Apple Hill Orchard, a pick your own orchard located between Charlotte and Asheville. Our Farm Market is filled with apples, cider donuts, baked goods and more!

  • Mercier Orchards in Georgia

    Mercier Orchards are a fourth generation family and veteran-owned and operated apple orchard. They were founded back in 1943. They offer amazing cider, as well as other fresh treats, such as baked goods and fruit. They’re located in Blue Ridge, Georgia.

    Mercier Orchards | North GA Apple Orchard | U-Pick | Blue Ridge, GA

    We are a 4th generation family-owned and operated apple orchard founded back in 1943 by Bill and Adele Mercier...

  • Bedner's Farm Fresh Market in Florida

    “Our mission at Bedner’s Farm Fresh Market is to bring our customers a variety of locally grown produce,” Bedner’s Farm Fresh Market states on their social media pages. Located in Boynton Beach, Florida, this spot is known for its great cider and the annual Bedner’s Fall Festival.

    Bedner's Farm Fresh Market

    Our Mission at Bedner's Farm Fresh Market is to bring our customers a variety of locally grown produce that is tasty, yet affordable. When you shop at Bedner's,...

  • Linvilla Orchards in Pennsylvania

    Linvilla Orchards is located in Media, Pennsylvania, about 30 minutes south of Philadelphia. It’s a favorite local spot to get apple cider every fall. In addition to apple cider, Linvilla has their legendary Apple Cider Doughnuts. Oh, my.

    Linvilla Orchards

    Linvilla Orchards is a 300-acre family farm dedicated to agriculture, entertainment and education. A trip to Linvilla creates family memories that last a lifetime. Come visit and experience all of the things that make Linvilla Orchards special.

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