You Gotta See This

LONDON, ENGLAND - NOVEMBER 24: The "Tinder" app logo is seen on a mobile phone screen on November 24, 2016 in London, England. Following a number of deaths linked to the use of anonymous online dating apps, the police have warned users to be aware of the risks involved, following the growth in the scale of violence and sexual assaults linked to their use. (Photo by Leon Neal/Getty Images)

I’m gonna give you the technical facts, and then I’m gonna give you the reasons why this bothers me. 

Now, I don’t mean to come off as a “bra burner feminist,” because I’m truly not. I’ve said and done things in my past, things I can’t speak of here. But one thing I’ll admit is that I do not use Tinder. There’s something about swiping left or right that leaves little to the romanticism of something, and personally, I was really sick of people sliding into my DM’s on Facebook, telling me that they “liked a woman who knew how to ‘rock their curves.'”

So for me, Tinder is already a no-no, but here’s the technical gist:

When you use Tinder, you are able to review someone’s profile and swipe left for a no, swipe right for a yes. Then, if you have both sanctioned it, you can begin to chat direct message-wise. When doing this,  you open yourself up to the discussion. This is where the “reactions” come in.

It’s basically like using emojis on Facebook Messenger, where you have animations that come through, and though it’s available for all sexes, women get just a few more.

Say some dude drops the “What are you wearing?” question or the “Send a pic,” over and you’re so not down for this cyber-sexting interaction. You can simply choose actions like “ugh,” or giant X marks to indicate you’re so not down for pervy talk.

While this may be a reactional measure that will work for women who don’t know what to say, my female pigheadedness comes out and says “Okay, Tinder is marketing this as a ‘Super Helpful action for Women, so much so they’ve taken to Elite Daily to sponsor a puff piece on it. But really, does it do any good?”

You’re still going to get the same reaction out of a dude, and believe me, I’ve seen some gnarly screenshots on Facebook on females who don’t openly take kindly to rejection. Now some dudes, maybe they’ll be cool about it and say “Sorry, I didn’t mean to offend you,” but the majority of hurt pride translates so much more so than the minority of kind fellows using Tinder.


Though some people have met their “life partner” on Tinder, I’ve always seen the app, or apps like it, as “hook-up” apps, rather than looking for your soul mate.

Call me old-fashioned, but if you can’t talk to me in person bravely and respectfully, I think I’d rather just stay single.


Amy Cooper likes to share unpopular opinions because even if they’re unpopular, there are still people who agree. Cue Michael Jackson’s “You Are Not Alone.” 

Erica Banas is a rock/classic rock news blogger who's well-versed in etiquette and extraordinarily nice. #TransRightsAreHumanRights

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