My Kids Shockingly Normal Reaction To Something They Couldn’t Do
This morning I was gearing up for a fight I was going to have to have with my two boys. We’re heading to the shore this weekend and I told them they could bring their bikes. I immediately regretted that decision when I realized it was going to make packing more of a headache. I’ve got an SUV, but I couldn’t just shove the bikes in the back because we also have the stroller for the baby… Now I have to go to the shed, get the bike rack (that I’ve never used), and figure out how to put it on. then for the next 90 minutes checking my rear-view mirror to make sure there isn’t a bike bouncing off other cars’ windshields on the I-95.
Luckily for me, the weather gods looked at me with favor. The only issue they tossed at me was I was going to have to deal with the argument when I told two maniacs the bikes were staying home. Let me be honest, these bikes weren’t coming with us no matter how the argument went. It was really just a matter of how annoyed I was going to be. Also, how pissed my wife was going to be at me for dropping that bomb on those kids while she’s at home working and they’re off from school. That seemed like a risk I was willing to take.
I talked about it on the air leading up to calling the boys. I even recorded the phone call, thinking I’d get some really good audio of the two of them telling me, “You’re the worst.” “This is the worst day ever.” “Stupid F*cking Dammit!” That last one is real. I’m not sure where the middle one heard that, because I don’t say those words in that specific order! My kids had a shockingly normal reaction.
I Facetimed the kids and here’s how the conversation went. I’m S, the older one is 1 and the younger is 2 for these purposes:
S – “Boy’s because of the snow we’re not going to be able to bring out bikes to the shore.”
1 -“What? Why?
S – “Gonna be snow on the ground. Can’t ride in the snow.”
1 – “Can I bring my hoverboard?”
S – “Yep.”
*At this point I’m surprised by the reaction.*
2 – “Can I bring my bike?”
S – “What, no. Do you want to bring your scooter?”
2 – “No, I think I want my bike.”
S – “Well you can’t bring it.”
2 – “…”
*This is where I thought we were about to go off the rails.*
S – “What about your remote-controlled monster trucks?”
2 – “Yea! Dad, Megalodon and Grave Digger can drive right over the ice.”
S – “Great. Boys, get the chargers so we don’t fo…
W – “Yea, they’re gone. You can’t just drop that on them while I’m working!”
S – “Oh, gotta go. Song is ending! Love you, good luck!”
Boom! Parented!
Fin.
Sesame Street: 6 Classic Performances from the Iconic Children's Show
