Excited About Costco Membership, Also No Longer Youthful and Vibrant
I’m officially no longer youthful and vibrant. I can see my younger self in the rear view mirror waving goodbye to me as I speed away with my graying hair and balding head. Some lower back pain, tired eyes from 3 kids. I’m speeding away because I’ve got our inaugural Costco trip to make with my wife. I never thought I’d be excited to be going to a store, but now that I have a Costco membership… I don’t need any judgement, just back pats and high fives from other people who’ve left their younger selves in a cloud of dust on the side of the road.
I’m not sure what I should get first. Should I immediately swing by for the celebrated Costco Hotdog soda combo? Nothing better than a Kirkland hot dog. Especially if you’re tossing that pork missile down your throught at the turn on a golf course (It just hits differently.) Should I book it directly to the Kirkland brand T-shirts and pants? You can probably get a pack of 35 boxer briefs for like 7 bucks. Do they still give out free sample around every turn? I don’t know, but you’re damn sure we’re going to find out. I already know about the rotisserie chicken. Anytime my mom or mother in law goes to Costco it’s a standing request for a rotisserie chicken.
I’m probably going to need to block off half of my dad when I make this initial trip. Gotta learn the lay of the land, do they hand out maps? Imagine you walk in and are greeted with a Kirkland chicken and a Kirkland branded store map to help guide you to what you need. Who doesn’t need 30 rolls of toilet paper in one stop?
I found this list of the 20 Costco items people just couldn’t stop buying in 2023. Guess i’m going to need to try some of them. Please keep my youthful past in your thoughts and prayers. Maybe I can buy a Kirkland branded cane or walker.
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