Let’s Face It The Eagles Just Suck
Yesterday I made the choice that I was going to make homemade pasta instead of being brought down again by this Philadelphia Eagles team. I had the game on in the background, but I made sure it wasn’t my focus. It was the correct choice. I watched the first 2 offensive drives, then my 4 year old asked me to be goalie while he kicked a soccer ball around the front lawn. The goal he had me covering was much larger than regulation size, but I made more stops than the Eagles defense. *Insert Michael Scott finger guns gif*
The disaster up the Jersey Turnpike yesterday afternoon continued what is one of the greatest collapses in NFL history. If you think this is an exaggeration take a look at some of these stats and comments
According to our @CBSPhiladelphia stat guy @nickdevlin:
— Pat Gallen (@PatGallenCBS3) January 8, 2024
The Eagles become the first 11-win playoff team ever to lose 5 of their last 6 games.
(Disclaimer: they play one more game now)
"This is a collapse that's unprecedented — not just in franchise history — in NFL history." pic.twitter.com/xBQk5TU6CW
— NBC Sports Philadelphia (@NBCSPhilly) January 8, 2024
I mean, my goodness, it’s a disaster out there. They can’t do anything right. Over the last 2 games they have given up 62 points to teams who at the time they played had 8 wins combined. Let’s face it, the Eagles just suck. They somehow got to 10-1 and then wheels fell off. It’s like they were playing the Oregon Trail game and everything was going great. They were thriving as they moved across the country. Then one day it’s all came crumbling down. They couldn’t carry all the meat they killed back to the wagons. Jalen got bit by a snake, AJ broke his arm, Nick Sirianni couldn’t ford the river. The defense most likely died of dysentery. Choose the terrible Oregon Trail deaths and assign them to this team.
They are now in the playoffs, but does anyone really think they’re going anywhere? The chances are higher that their season ends Monday night in Tampa Bay. QB Baker Mayfield is hobbled, but WRs Mike Evans, a future Hall of Famer, and Chris Godwin are very good. The Eagles have shown no signs that they can limit players of this caliber when it really counts. Unless there is some switch that this team is really able to flip then they’re doomed.
My friends have been jokingly saying maybe they’ve been pulling the old rope a dope tactic since Thanksgiving. They’re tricking teams into thinking they absolutely suck so when they get them in a playoff game they’re not ready for this exciting Eagles offense and stingy defense! On Earth 2 that is exactly what is happening. Unfortunately for us, we live on Earth 1 and the Eagles just suck.
The All-Time Roster Of NFL Players From the Philadelphia Area
QB- Matt Ryan- Exton, Pa
(Photo by Todd Kirkland/Getty Images)
It essentially came down to Matt Ryan, Matt Schaub, or Joe Flacco. Not that those guys are bad QBs, but when you are talking All-Time greats, I was hoping there was a Hall of Fame Caliber guy. Maybe they can work something out with Pittsburgh who have a claim to Johnny Unitas, Joe Montana, Jim Kelly, George Blanda, and Dan Marino. Matt Ryan was easily the most productive of this group, and has an All-Pro to his name. So he gets the spot. To his credit, he was a very good QB, just not on the level of Marino or Montana.
RB- Franco Harris- Fort Dix, NJ
(Photo by Bob Grieser/Allsport/Getty Images)
The pride of Rancocas Valley Regional High School in Mt Holly NJ. I would know, because I went to the same school. I saw the entire trophy case dedicated to him. Harris is a Hall of Famer, a 4 time Champion, a Super Bowl MVP, a 9-time Pro Bowler, and one of the greatest players in Steelers history. And he was involved in one of the greatest plays in NFL history, the Immaculate Reception.
RB- LeSean McCoy- Harrisburg, Pa
(Photo by Jim McIsaac/Getty Images)
The rule is you go to whatever city you are closer to, and Harrisburg is closer to Philly than Pittsburgh. I obviously don’t need to explain to Eagles fans how great McCoy is. He is one of the best running backs in team history, and the franchise leader in rushing yards. He accomplished that despite Chip Kelly pushing him off the team for some reason while he was still in his prime.
WR- Marvin Harrison- Philadelphia, Pa
(Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)
Without a doubt, the best WR from our area is Marvin Harrison. The Hall of Famer made 8 Pro Bowls, 3 All-Pro teams, led the league in receiving yards twice, and finished his career with 128 TDs. He also has a son, Marvin Harrison Jr, who is projected to be a top 5 pick this year, and could easily crack this list 10 years from now.
WR- Irving Fryar- Mount Holly, NJ
Mandatory Credit: Andy Lyons /Allsport
Speaking about Rancocas Valley, Irving Fryar also hails from there. He has the most Touchdowns (84) for any player from NJ in league history. Fryar made 5 Pro Bowls in his 17 year career between the Patriots, Eagles, Dolphins, and Washington.
WR- Andre Reed- Allentown, Pa
Mandatory Credit: Rick Stewart / Stringer
This Eagles team certainly would not lack playmakers. They already have one Hall of Fame WR, why not add another one? Andre Reed spent 15 of his 16 seasons with the Bills, racking up 13,198 yards and 88 total touchdowns. With Reed, Harrison, and Fryar running routes, they will make any QB look like a Hall of Famer.
TE- Frank Wycheck- Philadelphia, Pa
Mandatory Credit: Brian Bahr /Allsport
Wycheck did not have the most impressive career stat wise. It was solid, but not All-Time great material. But he was a solid player for the Oilers/Titans for years. And he had a big part to play for the greatest play in Titans history, the Music City Miracle. It was Wycheck who took the handoff, before passing it across the field to Kevin Dyson, who preceded to throw a 75 yard TD pass downfield to beat the Bills.
RG- Jahari Evans- Philadelphia, Pa
(Photo by Al Messerschmidt/Getty Images)
Coming out of a Division II college in Pennsylvania, no one expected much from Evans. But he went on to be one of the best OGs of his era. He played 12 seasons, 11 with the Saints, and made 4 All-Pro Teams, 6 Pro-Bowls, and made the All-Decade Team for the 2010’s. Philly loves an underdog, and Evans was an underdog who rose to true greatness. You could even make the case he belongs in the Hall of Fame.
LG- Mike Munchak- Scranton, Pa
(Photo by Grant Halverson/Getty Images)
The interior of the Eagles O-Line is perhaps the strongest part of this team. They have two Hall of Famers in Bednarik and Munchak, and one borderline Hall of Famer in Evans. Munchak made 2 First Team All-Pros, and then 6 2nd Team All-Pros. He also made the All-Decade team for the 1980s.
LT- Bryant McKinnie- Woodbury, NJ
(Photo by Larry French/Getty Images)
Of all the Offensive Linemen on this team, McKinnie has the least personal accolades. He has one Pro Bowl to his name, and wont be going into the Hall of Fame like the other guys. But he had a successful 12-year career, mostly with the Vikings.
DE- Micah Parsons- Harrisburg, Pa
(Photo by Tim Nwachukwu/Getty Images)
The edge rushers for the All-Time team stay the same as it was with the active team. Just because of all the edge rushers out of this area, none have had the same success as Parsons and Reddick have to this point in their careers. Parsons is one of the bets players period right now. And by the end of his his career, his place on this list will probably be unquestioned with the pace he is one.
DT- Joe Klecko- Chester, Pa
(Photo by Nick Cammett/Getty Images)
The recently inducted Hall of Famer had to have a place here. Klecko played 12 years, 11 of which were with the Jets, playing both DE and DT. He finished his career with 2 All-Pro selections and 78 sacks. He also played his College ball at Temple, so he gets double credit for staying local in College.
DT- Christian Barmore- Philadelphia, Pa
(Photo by Maddie Meyer/Getty Images)
I had a really hard time finding great DTs from the area. Even Klecko spent most of his time as a DE. Maybe I missed someone, and if I did, please let me know about out. But in the end, I just ended up going with another guy from the Active All-Philly Area team. Barmore is in the midst of a career season, and has turned into a force, especially against the run.
DE- Haason Reddick- Camden, NJ
(Photo by Mitchell Leff/Getty Images)
Like Parsons, Reddick made both the active and All-Time team. Reddick has been of the most dangerous pass rushers in the league these past several seasons. And while both he and Parsons still have a lot to prove to be considered All-Time greats, you can see them being considered as much when it is all said and done. And like Klecko, he is a Temple alum. So he is Philly through and through.
CB- Troy Vincent- Trenton, NJ
Mandatory Credit: Al Bello /Allsport
After starting his career with the Dolphins, Troy Vincent joined the Eagles in 1996, and went on to start at Corner for them for 8 years, including into the Jim Johnson era. He and Bobby Taylor were the dynamic duo at corner before it was Lito Shepard and Sheldon Brown, and you could argue they were an even better corner duo. Vincent made 1 All-Pro team and finished his career with 47 interceptions.
S- Deron Cherry- Riverside, NJ
Photo By: Stephen Wade / Getty Images
Deron Cherry is not in the Hall of Fame. But he probably should be. How are you going to put a guy on the All-Decade team in the 80s, but say he is not a Hall of Famer. If he is one of the best Safeties over an entire decade, you are a Hall of Famer in my book. The Rutgers alumni also has made 3 All-Pro teams and holds a tie for the record for most interceptions in 1 game (4).
K- Brandon McManus- Philadelphia, Pa
(Photo by Andy Lyons/Getty Images)
Our area does not develop kickers and punters well. McManus was not only the best option, he was pretty much the only option besides another active kicker, Matt Amendola. McManus is a solid kicker. In 10 seasons, he has just 2 seasons where his FG% dropped below 80%.
P - Christian Pulisic- Hershey, PA
(Photo by Marco Luzzani/Getty Images)
I couldn’t find a single even passable punter in the history of this area. None. I went back to the 30s in Pro Football Reference for Pa, NJ, and De, and found no one who lasted for than a couple years as a punter. So instead of putting some punter who wasn’t even good enough to last in the NFL, I just got the best soccer players from our area. Pulisic is good enough to play overseas and is one of the stars of the US Soccer team. He might be a terrible punter, but he has a better chance to be good than any of the actual punters from our area.
